Some Days are Harder

Some days are harder then others. Well I should say some moments are harder then others. The bad days are few and far between. Usually it happens in moments, she looks at me a certain way or something happens, or someone says something. Well in the past few days I've had two such moments that T21 just hurts, not Sarah Grace, but T21. 

A few nights ago Harmon and I were watching something on tv. I can't remember what but it involved someone having to bury their own child. And my initial thought was no parent should ever have to bury their own child, it's just not ok. And then I did it, I did the math the average life expectancy of someone with T21is 60 and I'm 26. Then I started looking around my family tree at the women. And it doesn't matter what the odds are I should not be in tears over the fact that maybe one day I might have to bury my baby. 

Today I don't even know what brought it on but I had the overwhelming feelings of pity for Hannah. I've read the research and stories of how enriched siblings of people T21 think their lives. And what a blessing they think it is to their life. And maybe one day I will feel that way to. But today is not that day. My baby is a blessing but her having T21 is not. It still hurts, it still stings. I think of Sarah Grace and T21 as two different things, things that don't relate, shouldn't go together. Anyway back to Hannah, I hope and pray that she never feels like her sister is a burden or that she has to be responsible for her sister. I don't want her to ever feel... idk I just want her to lover her sister. 

Believe it or not I have been doing a really good job of not worrying about things like the the fact that acute lymphoblastic leukemia is 10 times more at risk in children with T21 then the general public. Things like increased rates of thyroid disorders, gastrointestinal disorders, hearing and vision problems. The much higher risk of having Alzheimer's. 

For now Sarah Grace is an extremely healthy baby and we have been blessed beyond measure not to be having to deal with so much that so many with T21 do have to deal with with their new babies, 50% of babies born with T21 have congenital heart disease. 

Our prenatal screening for T21 came back completely normal. And sometimes I wish I had known in advance, but other times I'm glad we weren't told until she was 48 hours old. It gave us time to bond with her without having to think or worry about anything else but the two prefect babies God had given us.

Fall Minis by "What the Bell Photography"

I have a love of photos and since I am not skilled enough (yet) to take quality keepsake photos so I am willing to pay for them!!! Two weeks ago now there was a local photographer that was having mini sessions. We went on a Saturday after going to the pumpkin patch and ended up being 30 minutes late and missing our time slot and eventually the light.

(One of the photos we got before losing the light)

She took what she could and was extremely understanding having us come back the next morning at 9 in the morning. So I went home washed the girls cloths again and we made the trek out to her house again the next morning. She was able to shoot for about 10 minutes before an unforcasted rain shower hit.

 (Sarah Grace was more interested in sleeping then in taking photos)

We took shelter in her garage for, gosh a good thirty minutes. Just to find that afterwards all the beautiful light of the morning was gone. Replaced with HARSH, horrible, blinding, bright light. I was kinda desperate to have these photos done at this point but the light just wasn't working. I had the bright idea for Harmon and I to hold up a rug to create enough shade to take some photos.

 (Once Sarah Grace did wake up she was less then pleased to be taking photos!!!)

I know, it made it a million times harder to work with, but I am so impressed with how well she hid the horrible lighting. You can tell though on the photos where we were holding up the rug where there is a cut off in the light. Such as the picture above, there's a harsh line where the shadow we created stopped and the horrible lighting started.  I wish that in some of the photos the girls were looking more at the camera but at that age it is hard to get them to focus. There is one of Sarah Grace that her huge blue eyes are just to die for. Next month we are taking full family photos with me, Harmon and the dogs- I am really looking forward to it, but also a little worried that many people and dogs are hard to handle!!!

 (This photo is THE photo of the session. There are less photos of Sarah Grace but this picture is by far the best photo of her to date. It is absolutely stunning and really captures her. LOVE)

My Birthday!

Wednesday was my birthday and I just happen to love love love birthdays!!!! At 730 Wednesday morning I had to go have an ultrasound don of my liver, so Harmon went into work and I was home by 830. Since I didn't have to go to work I literally spent all day taking photos of my girls. Inside, outside and in different lights. I have a couple hundred photos to go through but I will post more! Wednesday evening we went out to dinner with some friends and had a great time! Today I got my birthday present from Harmon super exciting I got the book Bloom, by kelle Hampton. She has a little girl with Down syndrome and she too found out after Nella was born, I love Nellas birth story I can relate to it and I still cry everytime I read it but a good cry. I also got Mamarazzi : Every Mom's Guide to Photographing Kids. I'm super excited about it and am hoping that I will learn. I am also spending a lot of time on The Pioneer Women blog to learn about aperture, shutter speed and iso. I am getting my big camera for Christmas and am hoping I will know a little about how to use it. I'm trying to talk Harmon into getting it before Christmas so I will be able to take photos with it christmas morning.

Sarah Grace was dressed as my little thug baby in grey sweats and this super cute hat.

Hannah was my little 80s baby with her leg warmers and head band. (Weonly have two dozen pairs of leg warmers, there just too cute!!!)

And since we took a picture with Harmon with both the girls and his cake, so we had to take a pictire of me with both my girls. Hannah is fascinated and Sarh Grace is like what the heck.



I will also say that I spent the time when both girls were napping Wednesday looking at pinterest for their first birthday ideas!!! Let me tell you it is going to be a party!!!

Four Months

I know no new posts recently. Going back to work has sucked all my time, and whats a post without photos? Monday the girls had their four month well baby check up.

Hannah weighed in at 13lbs 2oz and 23in long

Sarah Grace weighed in at 11lbs even and 21 3/4in long

Big healthy babies.

 

Smiles

I don't ahve any fun photos to post today but I wanted to share. Sarah Grace had me in tears on Monday. She has turned her little grins and smirkes to full face wide gummy smiles. It had me in tears because she kept doing it over and over. And I know I'm not supposed to compare but Hannah has been doing it for a month. And knowing how much harder Sarah Grace had to work for it, it makes me melt all the more.

Three Months

We have been super busy, but Wednesday I took the girls three month photos. 

Hannah weighed in at 12lbs 3oz 

Sarah Grace weighed in at 10lbs 6oz

Over the course of last month Hannah has learned to smile and coo and giggle. Its adorable and makes me fall even more in love. (If that's possible)

Sarah Grace has been working on head control this month, and has the cutest little grin, she doesn't have a full smile yet, but the grin is adorable!!!

Our Trip to the VA

My dad had to have a procedure done down at the VA hospital down in Florida and he was not allowed to drive himself. So I took the girls and we went drove dad down there. It was my first overnight trip with the girls and they did very well! 

The girls even got to wear their new dresses with fun leggings since hospitals are cold!

After leaving the hospital we stopped by Walmart, where my dad picked up these little outfits for the girls! They will be great for the games at the end of the session when its starting to get cold!

Over all the trip was a success, and I learned about packing for overnight trips!